Lau Jie Xian, Jacinth
Block 123 Ubi Avenue 4
#05-678 Singapore 901234
(65) 56789123
jacinth.lau@nus.edu.sg
February 8, 2011
Dear Sir/Madam:
Applying for the Position of Analyst in the Finance Division
I was particularly excited to see this position open at Goldman Sachs as I have always observed positive feedback with regards to the services rendered to its clients. It is not surprising; Goldman Sachs stands by its 14 Business Principles, one of which especially captivated me: “Our clients’ interests always come first.” I found it very apt and meaningful for a global firm such as Goldman Sachs. As such, I would love the opportunity to be part of your team.
Reading the job description, I recognize myself. As you will discover from my resume, I have extensive experience in working with people from a myriad of backgrounds. Teamwork has always been part of my life; I am used to both working in as well as leading teams. Additionally, I have effectively handled events that I organized, with many occasions requiring me to think on my feet and overcome obstacles along the way. In the process of planning and organizing, I have learnt that large-scale detailed documentation, time management and good communication skills are part and parcel of every successful project. Moreover, with my rich experiences through immersion and exchange programmes, I have learnt to become adaptive, utilize the strengths in diversity and have a global mindset. I enjoy every moment of every thing I do; the challenges faced and the high expectations drive me.
Furthermore, with my Engineering background, I have been well equipped with strong analytical and problem-solving skills. Together with the many business-related modules I have undertaken at the National University of Singapore, I have developed a keen interest in the commercial and financial arena, and am willing to learn more about it; the intensive training provided by Goldman Sachs will definitely provide the platform for me to fully utilize the skills I have acquired in University, and allow me to contribute actively to your team.
I believe that my skills and experiences are an excellent match with the fast-paced and challenging position of Financial Analyst at Goldman Sachs, and will greatly appreciate an interview opportunity for this post. I am contactable at (65) 56789123 or via email at jacinth.lau@nus.edu.sg.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to a favourable reply from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Jacinth Lau
Hi Jacinth,
ReplyDeleteWould you like to include the address of the recipient on the top left hand corner of the application letter, after your own address and contact information? This should be the proper format, if I am not wrong.
I thought it will be good to spell out your purpose of writing this letter explicitly (e.g. I am writing to apply for this job) in the first paragraph to give the reader an idea of what to expect.
Maybe you should also shift the first paragraph to the end. I feel that employers would be more interested in knowing you and your qualities instead of how well you find their company. The praises for the organisation can be kept to the back.
You also mentioned 'Additionally, I have effectively handled events that I organized, with many occasions requiring me to think on my feet and overcome obstacles along the way.'
Would you like to give some detailed examples to support your point?
The strength of your letter lies in your ability to identify the job requirements like being able to work well in a team, possessing good communication skills, and being able to manage your time well. Great effort for this letter!
Hope you find these suggestions useful! :)
An interesting read! Besides the Pei Jin's comments, I would suggest a few other things that you might want to edit.
ReplyDelete"Reading the job description, I recognize myself." - maybe you can just write "I fit the job description." It tells the company that you are more confident and assure of yourself.
"As you will discover from my resume" - I feel that this phrase is redundant and can be opted out.
"Additionally, I have effectively handled events that I organized, with many occasions requiring me to think on my feet and overcome obstacles along the way." - what events? how many occasions? I would advise that you put at least 1 concrete example to show, or else it might be just a sweeping statement.
when you put in the example, I think that you may need to break up the second paragraph into two, or else it will be too long.
And on Pei Jin's comments on shifting the first para to the end, I think that it is alright to praise the company at the start rather than at the end.
Hope you find my suggestions helpful! =)
Thank you all for your very helpful comments!
ReplyDeletePeijin: How do I include an address if nothing is stated? This is meant to be an online submission, ie through their portal directly. What do you suggest in this case?
Nuri's comment about the line ""Reading the job description, I recognize myself" has his point. However, it seemed appropriate and acceptable to me!
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Pei Jin, that you did explicitly link your qualities to the job requirements! Great :)
Perhaps you can find out the address of the organisation and include it in the application letter, for the sake of this ES2007S assignment.
ReplyDelete